"And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them." (Luke 6:31, ESV)
"The Golden Rule" has been posted and quoted everywhere across the United States. I've seen it in Sunday School and public school classrooms. As a parent of a 3 year old with a baby sister, I feel that I use the concept constantly, stating frequently that, "You wouldn't like that if Ella did it to you."
Funny though, the passage does not say, "And as you wish that others would not do to you, don't do to them,"
In other words, we are asked to walk in someone else's shoes and ask ourselves, "If I were in this person's circumstances, what action would most genuinely speak Christ's love to me?"
To go even further, let's put this verse in context:
27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. 30 Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. 31 And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
32 “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who do good to you, what benefit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, to get back the same amount. 35 But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. 36 Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.
So, we're not talking about putting yourself in the shoes of your beloved children, loving parents, or romantic partner. We're talking about loving, serving, doing kind deeds to someone with whom you have a difficult time identifying or being empathetic.
Empathy...
I've always felt that it was an interesting and quite beautiful characteristic. It's very developmental and those in the mental health field agree that it generally becomes easily comprehensible around the age of 8. ( In other words, when I try to have my 3 year old put himself in his sister's shoes, it's really only training for something that will take him another five years to fully feel and understand. Right now, the world is spinning, and Cohen is smack in the middle of it! :))
The scary part is that there are some people who never, ever get it. Their brains never really step over that threshold from being completely self-absorbed to realizing that there are other people who have feelings of hurt, pain, happiness, and so on. These people are many times diagnosed with things such as psycopathy, sociopathy, personality disorder, and so on.
While the thought that an individual can have no comprehension or concern for another's well-being is frightening and sad to me, there is another more tragic truth.....
The majority of us (most definitely including myself) that have the ability to feel empathy so often CHOOSE not to take the time to do so. While it comes quite easy for me to exhaust all my energy in loving on the poor, standing by my man, soothing my children, and being compassionate toward the brokenhearted, I cannot for the life of me muster up the courage to dive into the heart of someone who has wounded me deeply.
I find my thoughts dipping into statements like " Just because they've been through _____________, ___________, and ________________, that doesn't give them the right to treat me this way. I've been through ___________________ to, ya know."
The truth is, that for most us ( minus the psychopathic crazies, I guess :)), there is a reason behind everything that we do, and it rarely has to do with the person who recieves our actions as their hurt. It much more has to do with the fact that our 'stuff' is being vomitted out into those around us (the good and the bad) and the intentions are usually totally different than what is perceived.
So, now, here comes the question...
What is the DO in Luke 6:31? What do I DO for someone who seemingly treats me like the used gum on the bottom of their shoe??
Well, I know that altering bible verses is generally frowned upon by Christ followers, but since I feel like Jesus brought this to me, I'll take my chances....
What if Luke 6:31 said, "And as you wish that others would THINK of you, so THINK of them."
What if, in prayer, we tried our hardest to feel and understand what our 'enemy' was going through? What if we looked at their life and their circumstances and prayed for compassion and understanding for their hurts? Could we then smile at them when they made a snide comment or threw us the finger? Could we lovingly confront them and let them know of our concern and care for their well-being? Could we actually come to the conclusion that their deplorable actions have nothing to do with ME??
Now, I know where some of you are going and I'm right there with you...
"Okay, I've given my extra tunic, I've walked the extra mile, I've turned the only cheek I have left, and they still spit in my face! What in the WORLD do you expect me to do??"
I'm ashamed to say, I've been on BOTH sides of this scenario. This is why we are SO BLESSED to have a God who has an answer for every situation. (Sometimes, we just have to dig a little ;).)
Matthew 10:14: And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town. (Note: I know this verse has often been taken out of context and refers to spreading the gospel, but I believe that the gospel is whispered every time we seek reconciliation in His name.)
Romans 12:18: If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
I think these two verses send a very clear message: Don't keep beating a dead horse! Walk away!!! If YOU know that your efforts have been God honoring and extensive, don't let them bring toxicity to your life and don't continue to do the same favor for them. Agree to disagree for the sake your own relationship with Christ (not to mention your sanity). Flee if you need to, BUT if you can't, pray for a mental and emotional separation that will help you to stay away from being the 'victim' and claiming confidence in who You know you are in Him, whether they agree with it or not. This, in turn, will help you to continue loving them from a distance without needing any reciprocity.
Sounds easy... but it's daily and it takes discipline, and I'll willingly crown myself as the Queen of Failures in this area, but it CAN be done. There are two ways I know this:
1.) Christ DIED for the most evil of men.
2.) Some of my own personal Christ-honoring heroes have proved it.
I hope you were blessed by these thoughts. It only took me 3 days!!! :)
May the Lord bless you and keep you today!!!
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