There's something a bit crazy about 2 conservative Christians taking their 14-month-old baby boy, whom they had tried for 2 years to conceive, into a home of troubled kids in hopes of not only financially providing for themselves, but winning some to Jesus. Yep, pretty nuts. But through our ignorance and the grace of Jesus we did it.. 3 years ago...
We also became pregnant with and housed a baby girl in that home for a couple months, and although it was tough, I wouldn't trade the lessons learned there for any amount of money.
As the Zimmerman trial came to an end, I got the opportunity to hear some of the 911 tapes and to see the face of the 17 year old boy, gone from this world and the middle-aged Zimmerman, who no longer will ever be truly free. I didn't really follow the case, and I've read a very small amount about this teenage kid, but what is interesting to me personally is how in the last few days as I've seen the unavoidable trial coverage, God has led me back in my thoughts to that house and those boys, into whom we invested almost 2 years of our lives... my husband much more than I.
I think there's so many reasons for the flashbacks, but let me hit on a few in hopes that you might gain a better perspective of the great ironies that have come to mind. Maybe you'll also be able to weave them into the Martin Zimmerman case, the way my spaghetti brain and heart has:
1.) While there were times I struggled with a deep fear and anxiety over our children being around the influences of the boys in the cottage, we loved them deeply. There is no question that we would always choose our flesh and blood, whom we have a biological, biblical, first obligation to over the boys. If one of them would've hurt our children, all you would've seen is our dust as we high-tailed it out of there. However, that didn't change the God-glorifying, grace-giving affection that we had for each of them, even when they were driving us completely mad! It also didn't change the fact that as tough as they were, when they played with my babies, I couldn't help but envision their last pinky finger clinging to innocence and their deep desire to be loved as a kid ( at 16, 17, 18 years old) all over again.
2.) I can remember so often when I was pregnant with El, having single moms, grandmoms, and dads of these boys come into our home and rejoice with us over the new life growing inside. I remember wondering if they wanted a do-over, if they felt cheated or like a failure because they had to give their babies over to us. And then, I thought, "they" could so easily be "I". I mean, I had a spouse, a mom, a dad, and two supportive in-laws. I would venture to say that not one of these parents had anywhere close to what I had, namely Jesus, and it broke my heart. I'm so weak, so guilty, so broken.. no more holy or righteous than them, but for some reason they were standing there and I was standing here and I wondered why in the world God had chosen someone as naïve, weak, and failing as me to speak into the lives of these families.
3.) I can remember sitting in on several occasions listening to Ryan tell a boy that his actions could get him in jail, or worse, killed and hoping that that would never happen. Although they probably would've had it coming, I never wanted that for them, not even the ones I butted heads with daily.
4.) When we moved here, and as the mild PTSD of our formerly crazy life wore off, I began to see the world, my Savior, and those around me with new lenses. All the way from the babies I cuddled in the nursery at church to the college age kids were someone's baby. My heart both broke and praised Jesus when kids started opening up to Ryan about things they'd never told anyone before...that's why we had been led to the boys' home...so that we could see even the toughest, hardest, snottiest teenage kid as a beloved child, the way God sees us. There just not as intimidating anymore.. I can look at the beautiful, "somewhat" innocent eyes of my four-year-old boy and see the same sparkle in the eyes of a too-cool-for-school 17 year old. There's virtually no difference except their brains may be a few years closer to full growth. They want to be loved and told their worth something. They want to be disciplined. They want to know that they matter.
Now... Trayvon.
I don't know how he was raised. I know Dad was tough on him, but no more than that. I would venture to say that his mom and dad loved him, despite the fact that they didn't live in the same home, despite the fact that he had weed and suspensions in his background, I believe they were doing all they knew how... which is all any of us can, really.
I would venture to guess that he probably made some really bad choices that night. Inexcusable for a man, expected from a 17-year-old who wants to believe he's a man.
Did he deserve to get shot? Nah, probably not.
From the sound of the 911 calls before the confrontation, Zimmerman seemed a little too amped up already to me. I mean, we live smack in the middle of town where "interesting characters" (of no one specific race, gender, or stereotype)go right past our house on a daily basis. Although I'd guess some are junkies, I don't think one of them would harm us. Besides, with God on our side, I think we'll save 911 and gunfire for immediate danger only. :)
For me, my heartbreak has nothing to do with identifying Martin as a race, and everything to do with seeing my baby boy in his eyes, hardened or soft, as they are flashed on the T.V. screen.
What a depraved, sinful race we are, fighting with and killing one another for fear and pride, wasting hours of our precious time on this earth complaining that a man we didn't even know who shot a boy we didn't even know walked free, rejoicing that a man was declared "Not guilty" while the reality is t hat there is someone's little boy 6 feet underground, and another man and his family will live in guilt and fear.. forever.
Why are we living in these extremes, these disgusted and elated emotions? Why aren't there more of us who follow Christ mourning over the depravity this case brought to light and trying to glean from it what our Father is trying to teach us?
I do not have an answer for that, but what I can say is that we can all learn something.. as long as there's breath in our lungs...
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
Encouragement for Anxious, Task-Driven Moms
Peace.
Calm.
Quietness of Spirit.
Relationship.
God's Presence.
As a mom of itty bittys, I find myself wondering at times if these words and phrases will ever become a reality in my life again. Some of this I can just attribute to spending most of my days at home with a 1 year old and a 4 year old. Most of it, however, has to do with my sin nature and struggles.
I am a worrier and easily given over to anxiety.
I am also very task-driven.
God is using my husband and my children, specifically this "stay-at-home"chapter of my life to teach me how to be more like Him. I want to be more peaceful, more calm, more quiet, more relational, and most importantly, to feel God's presence and nearness even in the most hectic of times.
Slowly and steadily He's teaching me how.
I know I'm not alone. There are lots of you moms out there who love yourfamilies with every beat of your heart but are oftentimes bound by that "Martha", task-oriented, anxious heart.
Today, I would like to share how God's been teaching me to break free. I'm no pro at this yet, but I'd love to at least open up some dialouge about it.
So, here are some, hopefully, helpful and encouraging thoughts:
1.) Make a list (easy for task lovers) and switch gears when needed. Lots of times, when I don't make a list and just start my day, the many tasks I feel I need to accomplish get larger and larger and the weight of them turns very unrealistic very quickly. Then, if I get stuck on something, I feel like I'm drowning deeper and deeper into the sea of "too much to do".
On the other hand, if I stop, look at a premade list, and switch gears to something else for awhile, I feel so much more accomplished and centered when I come back to the original task that I knock it out fairly quickly! Oh, and don't forget to always add "snuggle, play a game, and read with the babies" on that list. There are also times a list brings about the realization that only a couple or none of the "to-dos" HAVE to get done today. Every once in awhile, fight against those desires to "get ahead" and just spend the entire day lovin' your family. :)
2.) Make your quiet time with Jesus your first morning priority. Yes, exercise and a quick shower are also helpful in the morning, but there's something about that time with Jesus first thing that reminds you of who's really in control. Besides, you exercise enough chasing your kids and showers are overrated when you're cuddling poop and booger machines all day. :) (I just read this tip to Cohen and he agrees:))
3.) Don't let the evil one cause the "advice" of other women to bring you guilt and despair.
God bless 'em, they mean well, but the fact of the matter is that any good mother who is in the trenches alongside you is going to either give you a hug or just whisper a gentle, "I know, sweetie, I know."
It is those sweet, well-meaning women who either do not have their own children or who are in that "in-between" stage of having teenage/adult kids and no grandkids ( How many times have I heard, "It goes by so fast.. my baby is twenty-_".). Somehow, they only remember the "good things" about having a toddler and love to tell us that we should be enjoying every moment.
Or what kind of foods we should be forcing our kids to eat.
Or what should be in their sippy cup.
Or how to make them sleep better.
Or that sending them outside in short sleeves in 60 degree weather will give them pneumonia.
Or that hugging them too much will cause them to stay babies forever.
Or that not hugging them enough will make them juvenile delinquents.
I can remember being at one of our nephews' ball games when my oldest was barely a year old. It was HOT and my son is a sweatER. I had no other choice but to strip him down to his diaper, pour water over his head, and let him play in the mud puddles. (Totally against my rule followin' nature.) I looked at my mother-in-law and said, "Before I had a child of my own, I would've thought someone who did this to their kid in a public place had mental issues". She just smiled as if she was clearly rejoicing in the fact that God had changed my heart. :)
I can also attest to the fact that selective memory is a real thing. After all, if I remembered the misery of my pregnancy sickness with Cohen, we would've never had El. :)
Those seasoned mothers who tell you to enjoy every moment are filled with their own remorse that they didn't, but you won't either. Why? Because we're human. We're made of sinful flesh and blood. Do you enjoy all of your time with any human being? Your husband? Your parents? Your best friend? No. We're never satisfied. We're not perfect.
Enjoy your kids as much as you can and let Jesus give you grace for the rest.
Having said that,
4.) Be thankful as much as you can. When it's just a conversation between you and God, thank him for the crayon-stains on the wood floor, the pee puddles in the bathroom, and the dirty dishes piled high. Thank him for moldable hearts and minds that will absolutely adore you for such a short time. Thank Him for the good moments and the bad. Thank Him for the very things society tells us we should whine about. This one has been huge in changing my perspective. Gratitude is not easy, especially when your nature is to complain, but it absolutely changes your heart.
5.) Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. Talk to someone when you feel the weight bearing down. Jesus is the place to start, but if you can't shake it, if the day's just too rough, maybe He wants to bless someone with the joy of helping you.. Let them. Call your husband, your mom, your dad, your neighbor, your best friend. Your kids' lives will not fall apart if you're asleep or in a bath for a period of time. When I learned to truly believe my husband when he said, "Crystal, I want to make dinner," "I want you to lay down", "I want to take the kids out for ice cream", it changed my life forever. When I truly realized that I wasn't the only one that should be desiring time with my kids and that they could bless others with their presence, their questions, their giggles, and their snuggles, it brought great freedom.
6.) Accept professional counseling and medication when needed. Sometimes, especially for an anxious person, in traumatic or life changing situations, counseling and meds are a great help. At times, they're needed for simple day-to-day survival. God gave doctors wisdom for a reason. Although I know longer counsel or take meds, I've been there and it's still always open for discussion in our home. Prayerfully consider it, especially if you feel like you've tried everything else and there is still a feeling of hopelessness.
Lastly, and most importantly...
7.) Give your kids- and yourself-the Gospel daily. Yes, you need to discipline your kids. Maybe, though, on the days you find yourself handing out timeouts and spankings like they're candy, you need a little timeout as well. :) Be open with your kids. Let them know that you sin right alongside them. YOU make mistakes, YOU fail, YOU say hurtful things all the time. Apologize and talk to them age-appropriately about your own sin and watch the cycle of guilt and anxiety disapper. Make it known, of course, that you are in charge,and are responsible to hand out consequences for their sin. But don't ever let them, or yourself, believe the lie that you do, or should, have it all together. Confessing that you "make bad choices" (as the Fulmers call it :)) only shines more light on the saving grace of Jesus. It takes the weight of "saving" your children off your shoulders, and places it on His... where it should've been all along.
I hope these thoughts have helped you as much as they have me. God has used many different resources and people in my life to help me with my struggle and I felt compelled to share His grace in my life.
One day, I'll be a completely calm, peaceful, relational mommy... or maybe.... grandmommy. ;) Until then, I'll keep leaning on Jesus and trust that He is sovereign and His timing is perfect. May you do the same.
Calm.
Quietness of Spirit.
Relationship.
God's Presence.
As a mom of itty bittys, I find myself wondering at times if these words and phrases will ever become a reality in my life again. Some of this I can just attribute to spending most of my days at home with a 1 year old and a 4 year old. Most of it, however, has to do with my sin nature and struggles.
I am a worrier and easily given over to anxiety.
I am also very task-driven.
God is using my husband and my children, specifically this "stay-at-home"chapter of my life to teach me how to be more like Him. I want to be more peaceful, more calm, more quiet, more relational, and most importantly, to feel God's presence and nearness even in the most hectic of times.
Slowly and steadily He's teaching me how.
I know I'm not alone. There are lots of you moms out there who love yourfamilies with every beat of your heart but are oftentimes bound by that "Martha", task-oriented, anxious heart.
Today, I would like to share how God's been teaching me to break free. I'm no pro at this yet, but I'd love to at least open up some dialouge about it.
So, here are some, hopefully, helpful and encouraging thoughts:
1.) Make a list (easy for task lovers) and switch gears when needed. Lots of times, when I don't make a list and just start my day, the many tasks I feel I need to accomplish get larger and larger and the weight of them turns very unrealistic very quickly. Then, if I get stuck on something, I feel like I'm drowning deeper and deeper into the sea of "too much to do".
On the other hand, if I stop, look at a premade list, and switch gears to something else for awhile, I feel so much more accomplished and centered when I come back to the original task that I knock it out fairly quickly! Oh, and don't forget to always add "snuggle, play a game, and read with the babies" on that list. There are also times a list brings about the realization that only a couple or none of the "to-dos" HAVE to get done today. Every once in awhile, fight against those desires to "get ahead" and just spend the entire day lovin' your family. :)
2.) Make your quiet time with Jesus your first morning priority. Yes, exercise and a quick shower are also helpful in the morning, but there's something about that time with Jesus first thing that reminds you of who's really in control. Besides, you exercise enough chasing your kids and showers are overrated when you're cuddling poop and booger machines all day. :) (I just read this tip to Cohen and he agrees:))
3.) Don't let the evil one cause the "advice" of other women to bring you guilt and despair.
God bless 'em, they mean well, but the fact of the matter is that any good mother who is in the trenches alongside you is going to either give you a hug or just whisper a gentle, "I know, sweetie, I know."
It is those sweet, well-meaning women who either do not have their own children or who are in that "in-between" stage of having teenage/adult kids and no grandkids ( How many times have I heard, "It goes by so fast.. my baby is twenty-_".). Somehow, they only remember the "good things" about having a toddler and love to tell us that we should be enjoying every moment.
Or what kind of foods we should be forcing our kids to eat.
Or what should be in their sippy cup.
Or how to make them sleep better.
Or that sending them outside in short sleeves in 60 degree weather will give them pneumonia.
Or that hugging them too much will cause them to stay babies forever.
Or that not hugging them enough will make them juvenile delinquents.
I can remember being at one of our nephews' ball games when my oldest was barely a year old. It was HOT and my son is a sweatER. I had no other choice but to strip him down to his diaper, pour water over his head, and let him play in the mud puddles. (Totally against my rule followin' nature.) I looked at my mother-in-law and said, "Before I had a child of my own, I would've thought someone who did this to their kid in a public place had mental issues". She just smiled as if she was clearly rejoicing in the fact that God had changed my heart. :)
I can also attest to the fact that selective memory is a real thing. After all, if I remembered the misery of my pregnancy sickness with Cohen, we would've never had El. :)
Those seasoned mothers who tell you to enjoy every moment are filled with their own remorse that they didn't, but you won't either. Why? Because we're human. We're made of sinful flesh and blood. Do you enjoy all of your time with any human being? Your husband? Your parents? Your best friend? No. We're never satisfied. We're not perfect.
Enjoy your kids as much as you can and let Jesus give you grace for the rest.
Having said that,
4.) Be thankful as much as you can. When it's just a conversation between you and God, thank him for the crayon-stains on the wood floor, the pee puddles in the bathroom, and the dirty dishes piled high. Thank him for moldable hearts and minds that will absolutely adore you for such a short time. Thank Him for the good moments and the bad. Thank Him for the very things society tells us we should whine about. This one has been huge in changing my perspective. Gratitude is not easy, especially when your nature is to complain, but it absolutely changes your heart.
5.) Communicate. Communicate. Communicate. Talk to someone when you feel the weight bearing down. Jesus is the place to start, but if you can't shake it, if the day's just too rough, maybe He wants to bless someone with the joy of helping you.. Let them. Call your husband, your mom, your dad, your neighbor, your best friend. Your kids' lives will not fall apart if you're asleep or in a bath for a period of time. When I learned to truly believe my husband when he said, "Crystal, I want to make dinner," "I want you to lay down", "I want to take the kids out for ice cream", it changed my life forever. When I truly realized that I wasn't the only one that should be desiring time with my kids and that they could bless others with their presence, their questions, their giggles, and their snuggles, it brought great freedom.
6.) Accept professional counseling and medication when needed. Sometimes, especially for an anxious person, in traumatic or life changing situations, counseling and meds are a great help. At times, they're needed for simple day-to-day survival. God gave doctors wisdom for a reason. Although I know longer counsel or take meds, I've been there and it's still always open for discussion in our home. Prayerfully consider it, especially if you feel like you've tried everything else and there is still a feeling of hopelessness.
Lastly, and most importantly...
7.) Give your kids- and yourself-the Gospel daily. Yes, you need to discipline your kids. Maybe, though, on the days you find yourself handing out timeouts and spankings like they're candy, you need a little timeout as well. :) Be open with your kids. Let them know that you sin right alongside them. YOU make mistakes, YOU fail, YOU say hurtful things all the time. Apologize and talk to them age-appropriately about your own sin and watch the cycle of guilt and anxiety disapper. Make it known, of course, that you are in charge,and are responsible to hand out consequences for their sin. But don't ever let them, or yourself, believe the lie that you do, or should, have it all together. Confessing that you "make bad choices" (as the Fulmers call it :)) only shines more light on the saving grace of Jesus. It takes the weight of "saving" your children off your shoulders, and places it on His... where it should've been all along.
I hope these thoughts have helped you as much as they have me. God has used many different resources and people in my life to help me with my struggle and I felt compelled to share His grace in my life.
One day, I'll be a completely calm, peaceful, relational mommy... or maybe.... grandmommy. ;) Until then, I'll keep leaning on Jesus and trust that He is sovereign and His timing is perfect. May you do the same.
Friday, January 18, 2013
The Fear of Extremism
What a crazy few weeks in our country!
Gun Control...
Louie Giglio's rejection/self-removal from the inaugural benediction...
Pat Robertson... well... being himself....
Again, my facebook addiction has given me such an interesting perspective on the lens' through which others see..
I've said on here before that I believe that fear is the driving force that causes those who are called to trust in Christ to become panicky, frayed, and down-right mean... especially when it comes to the societal, religious, and financial conflicts in our nation. And fear is not from God unless it is of Him.
However, I am struggling with a fear right now. The fear is that we are becoming a society of extremists. THIS is horrifying to me because it will leave those of us who still cling to logic and trust as the minority.
Let me use the "Louie Giglio" situation as an example. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll explain in a bit. :)
Roughly four decades to a half century ago, our nation was rapidly changing. Things that were once "hidden in a closet" were being talked about and explored openly. I believe that this has actually led to a lot of good and it was the will of God, but some Church leaders responded to this societal change negatively. (This made sense given the fact that much of this exploration and exposure included acceptance of behaviors and lifestyles that were once widely known as sinful.) I believe these leaders' intentions were good, but their methodology was completely flawed. These leaders lashed out at the homosexual community especially and truly succeeded in separating Christians from "sinners", as if there was really any difference.
Because of these extreme actions, those in the liberal, secular, and/or homosexual community who were also extremists and highly opinionated lashed out, and this ping-pong match, in my opinion, has been back and forth ever since.
Fast forward to 2013. Pastor Louie Giglio, a man who has worked closely with the President on social justice issues and has never given this gal any reason to believe that he lives for anything other than Christ (yes, I'm a fan) is asked to give the prayer at his inauguration. However, a 15 year-old sermon is found of his that had to do with the "sin of homosexuality" and he immediately becomes a target. He chose to peacefully decline the request to pray at this event; the White House happily accepted his self-removal and immediately apologized to the public for their poor choice in pastor.
Huh????
Okay... so... if I believe that spanking my child is beneficial and my neighbor believes that spanking is flat out wrong, can we not be friends??
Well, that depends. Are we going to be that immature or are we going to say, "Look, we definitely disagree on this issue, but our kids love each other and we also have a lot in common, so let's build a relationship on those things and take the spanking card off the conversation table." ?
I don't understand. When did Pastor Giglio's stance on homosexuality have anything to do with the proactive things he's done, such as his efforts toward ending human sex-trafficking? Did anybody really think his prayer was going to include anything pertaining to a message he preached 15 years ago?
See, here's the problem with extremism and the way our country is going... on both ends. We, especially our youth, are being led to believe that one fraction of a person or issue defines their/its whole.
I, for example, am a very anxious person. Not everyone understands anxiety. If someone gets to know me, it may very well annoy them how often I let my anxieties dominate my life. My own husband gets very frustrated with this component of who I am. Yet, he loves me? Why? Well, aside from the fact that I am trying (as pitifully as it may seem at times) to follow Jesus and that He alone gives my husband the love to love me (of which he beautifully recieves), I am a good mother to his children, I am compassionate, and he enjoys conversing with and bouncing ideas off of me. We have a wonderful friendship and unity. He does not see me as "my anxious wife, Crystal". He sees me as well.. me. Wife, mother, teacher, housekeeper, cook, youth leader, partner, etc....
Now, I am a Christian, so my husband and others hold me to the idea that I must always be working to trust Christ and shed my anxiety, because it is, in fact, sinful to worry. But even so, they take care to approach this with love and compassion because they know it's not a choice, but a struggle that at times breaks me.
However, if I were not a Christian, it would be hard convincing me that I was "sinning" because I would simply be going with my feelings, i.e, I FEEL like being anxious, therefore I should be.
We can parallel this with just about any sinful behavior (sexual immorality, drunkenness, slander, etc.)
By the same token, secular society needs to accept the fact that although the majority of evangelical Christians disagree with them on issues such as homosexuality, abortion, welfare, etc., this does not mean we have nothing to offer or to stand on together.
I am not worried about the "left" or "right" taking over. I'm struggling not to worry about anything, but I do...
I worry that my children, as Christ-followers, are going to feel the need to "pick a side"when the world is simply not black and white.
"The older I get, the grayer things become."..... I've heard my husband and a half dozen church leaders speak this truth.
I agree with the Church at large when it comes to homosexuality and many other social issues. I do not believe any sex outside of a marriage between a man and woman fits into God's design, but I don't plan to stand on a platform, political or otherwise, to stop it.
I am only just beginning to understand the complexity of human and cultural sexuality and what role genetics, environment, etc. play into the equation. I cannot begin to understand the pain, heartache, and despair that one struggling through sexual confusion feels.
I also cannot comprehend what a non-Christian who is sifting through their struggles without Jesus hears when one of us DOES choose to stand on a anti-sin-based platform, having no (and not being given any) background of the love of Christ.
Like Giglio, I desire to live a Christ-like existence. I will certainly give my opinion from a Biblical perspective when asked, but life is too short for an agenda. When pushed, I want to be able to say my piece, and then humble myself, step down off my podium, and get back to loving, serving, and praying for others.
As I've heard many wise say, "The Church should be known by what it's for, not what it's against."
The Holy Spirit led me today to Luke 14:7-33. I think Jesus gives us a little picture here of what we should be for. I especially love verse 11: "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."
As you go throughout your journey and your seasons, I hope you will join the ever-increasing minority. May we never be afraid to speak our Biblical opinion (because we are called to be bold), but may our ultimate goal be to see each individual and human being with their flaws AND strengths, through the eyes of Jesus. If we don't, the gospel will never be communicated and all our words will be meaningless.
Gun Control...
Louie Giglio's rejection/self-removal from the inaugural benediction...
Pat Robertson... well... being himself....
Again, my facebook addiction has given me such an interesting perspective on the lens' through which others see..
I've said on here before that I believe that fear is the driving force that causes those who are called to trust in Christ to become panicky, frayed, and down-right mean... especially when it comes to the societal, religious, and financial conflicts in our nation. And fear is not from God unless it is of Him.
However, I am struggling with a fear right now. The fear is that we are becoming a society of extremists. THIS is horrifying to me because it will leave those of us who still cling to logic and trust as the minority.
Let me use the "Louie Giglio" situation as an example. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I'll explain in a bit. :)
Roughly four decades to a half century ago, our nation was rapidly changing. Things that were once "hidden in a closet" were being talked about and explored openly. I believe that this has actually led to a lot of good and it was the will of God, but some Church leaders responded to this societal change negatively. (This made sense given the fact that much of this exploration and exposure included acceptance of behaviors and lifestyles that were once widely known as sinful.) I believe these leaders' intentions were good, but their methodology was completely flawed. These leaders lashed out at the homosexual community especially and truly succeeded in separating Christians from "sinners", as if there was really any difference.
Because of these extreme actions, those in the liberal, secular, and/or homosexual community who were also extremists and highly opinionated lashed out, and this ping-pong match, in my opinion, has been back and forth ever since.
Fast forward to 2013. Pastor Louie Giglio, a man who has worked closely with the President on social justice issues and has never given this gal any reason to believe that he lives for anything other than Christ (yes, I'm a fan) is asked to give the prayer at his inauguration. However, a 15 year-old sermon is found of his that had to do with the "sin of homosexuality" and he immediately becomes a target. He chose to peacefully decline the request to pray at this event; the White House happily accepted his self-removal and immediately apologized to the public for their poor choice in pastor.
Huh????
Okay... so... if I believe that spanking my child is beneficial and my neighbor believes that spanking is flat out wrong, can we not be friends??
Well, that depends. Are we going to be that immature or are we going to say, "Look, we definitely disagree on this issue, but our kids love each other and we also have a lot in common, so let's build a relationship on those things and take the spanking card off the conversation table." ?
I don't understand. When did Pastor Giglio's stance on homosexuality have anything to do with the proactive things he's done, such as his efforts toward ending human sex-trafficking? Did anybody really think his prayer was going to include anything pertaining to a message he preached 15 years ago?
See, here's the problem with extremism and the way our country is going... on both ends. We, especially our youth, are being led to believe that one fraction of a person or issue defines their/its whole.
I, for example, am a very anxious person. Not everyone understands anxiety. If someone gets to know me, it may very well annoy them how often I let my anxieties dominate my life. My own husband gets very frustrated with this component of who I am. Yet, he loves me? Why? Well, aside from the fact that I am trying (as pitifully as it may seem at times) to follow Jesus and that He alone gives my husband the love to love me (of which he beautifully recieves), I am a good mother to his children, I am compassionate, and he enjoys conversing with and bouncing ideas off of me. We have a wonderful friendship and unity. He does not see me as "my anxious wife, Crystal". He sees me as well.. me. Wife, mother, teacher, housekeeper, cook, youth leader, partner, etc....
Now, I am a Christian, so my husband and others hold me to the idea that I must always be working to trust Christ and shed my anxiety, because it is, in fact, sinful to worry. But even so, they take care to approach this with love and compassion because they know it's not a choice, but a struggle that at times breaks me.
However, if I were not a Christian, it would be hard convincing me that I was "sinning" because I would simply be going with my feelings, i.e, I FEEL like being anxious, therefore I should be.
We can parallel this with just about any sinful behavior (sexual immorality, drunkenness, slander, etc.)
By the same token, secular society needs to accept the fact that although the majority of evangelical Christians disagree with them on issues such as homosexuality, abortion, welfare, etc., this does not mean we have nothing to offer or to stand on together.
I am not worried about the "left" or "right" taking over. I'm struggling not to worry about anything, but I do...
I worry that my children, as Christ-followers, are going to feel the need to "pick a side"when the world is simply not black and white.
"The older I get, the grayer things become."..... I've heard my husband and a half dozen church leaders speak this truth.
I agree with the Church at large when it comes to homosexuality and many other social issues. I do not believe any sex outside of a marriage between a man and woman fits into God's design, but I don't plan to stand on a platform, political or otherwise, to stop it.
I am only just beginning to understand the complexity of human and cultural sexuality and what role genetics, environment, etc. play into the equation. I cannot begin to understand the pain, heartache, and despair that one struggling through sexual confusion feels.
I also cannot comprehend what a non-Christian who is sifting through their struggles without Jesus hears when one of us DOES choose to stand on a anti-sin-based platform, having no (and not being given any) background of the love of Christ.
Like Giglio, I desire to live a Christ-like existence. I will certainly give my opinion from a Biblical perspective when asked, but life is too short for an agenda. When pushed, I want to be able to say my piece, and then humble myself, step down off my podium, and get back to loving, serving, and praying for others.
As I've heard many wise say, "The Church should be known by what it's for, not what it's against."
The Holy Spirit led me today to Luke 14:7-33. I think Jesus gives us a little picture here of what we should be for. I especially love verse 11: "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."
As you go throughout your journey and your seasons, I hope you will join the ever-increasing minority. May we never be afraid to speak our Biblical opinion (because we are called to be bold), but may our ultimate goal be to see each individual and human being with their flaws AND strengths, through the eyes of Jesus. If we don't, the gospel will never be communicated and all our words will be meaningless.
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